


Seuss' Sides

by enogk07



Category: Thomas Sanders
Genre: Dr Seuss, Gen, poem
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-03-29 05:49:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13920705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enogk07/pseuds/enogk07
Summary: A collection of oneshots for all the Sanders Sides pairings--written in the style of Dr. Seuss





	1. Analogical

'Twas a late night for Virgil  
Which wasn't uncommon  
But this time his problems  
Weren't solved with just ramen. 

He got out of bed,  
Resigned to his fate.  
Well, perhaps Logan  
Was also up late.

Surely the logical side  
Could assist  
In assuaging the fears  
That seemed to persist

He slowly approached Logan's door  
And knocked twice  
At long last, the door opened  
'Well, time for advice...'

"Ah, hello Virgil,"  
Logan started to say.  
"Is something the matter,  
Or are you just saying hey?"

"Well, actually," Virgil said,  
As he shuffled his feet,  
"I'm still pretty shook  
From this stuff with Deceit."

"That's understandable,"  
Logan replied.  
(Though not one for comfort,  
He had a soft side.)

"It's just, what if Patton  
So sweet and naive  
Falls beneath Deceit's spell  
And decides to just...leave?

What if he decides  
From Deceit's serenade  
That life with the Dark Sides  
Could be an upgrade?"

"But why would he do that?"  
Logan asked as he frowned.  
"Surely he knows  
We all want him around."

"I don't think he thinks  
You're included it that.  
He's halfway convinced  
That you hate him, in fact."

Logan stared back at Virge  
Just as if he'd spoke Latin.  
"What? How could anyone  
Ever hate Patton?"

"Well, to be fair  
Thomas, Roman and I  
Were so glad he returned  
But you just stood by.

You literally said,  
'Deceit wasn't so bad.'  
And that comment hurt, Logan  
He's really been sad."

"Did he tell you all this?"  
Logan asked, still in shock.  
Virge nodded. Logan sighed  
And then glanced at the clock. 

"Okay, look," he said,  
"It's nearly midnight.  
If I don't get to bed soon  
I'll be here till daylight. 

But first thing tomorrow  
I'll discuss this with him.  
I promise. Just breathe.  
Things are not all that grim. 

You, me, Patton, Ro--  
We're all family  
The same can't be said  
For old SnakeFace McGee."

Virgil smiled for once,  
And punched his friend's arm  
"Hey, thanks for that, Logan.  
You've really got charm."

Virge returned to his room  
At last able to rest  
With the knowledge that his fam  
Was surely the best


	2. Logince

The time, early evening  
The sun, barely setting  
But Roman was braced  
For the talk he was dreading 

He paced outside Logan's room   
This way and that  
Prepared for his poor self-esteem  
To fall flat

But maybe some feedback   
Could be of good use   
And if he lost next time,  
He'd have no excuse 

So he lifted his hand   
And was poised to start knocking  
But then came the sound   
Of somebody walking 

"Oh, hello there, Roman,"  
Logan said from behind.  
"I was just out for a walk   
I hope you don't mind."

Logan went to the door  
And it swung open wide.   
"Oh, don't get me wrong,  
You are welcome inside."

Roman grinned for once   
And he tried to relax.   
He sat down, still flustered  
Studying the wall's cracks. 

"Well, anyway," he began,  
His heart starting to rattle   
"Just how did you win  
Yesterday's rap battle?"

To Roman's surprise  
There came no sounds of teasing  
His worst fear now subsided  
The nerves began easing

Logan was actually   
Quite touched, in fact  
To know that his skills   
Had made such an impact 

"You...want me to help you?"  
The smart Side confirmed.   
"Because I can certainly   
Share what I've learned."

"I mean, yeah," Ro admitted   
The band-aid ripped off.  
"Just don't tell anyone,"  
He said with a scoff. 

"Well, I must say  
You don't need much assistance.   
You have lots of talent   
As well as persistence. 

Both of those things   
Make you good at this skill  
Perhaps you just need   
A new vocab drill

Just spend a few weekends   
Reading some books   
And in no time you'll write   
Even catchier hooks."

"Really? That's it?  
That's my only downfall?"  
'Maybe I don't suck at this  
After all.'

"Most certainly,"  
Old Logan said with a smile.   
"Believe me, your skills  
Are immensely worthwhile. 

I realize I may have seemed   
Harsh yesterday.   
But make no mistake--  
We all want you to stay."

"Hey, thanks for that, Logan,"  
Roman said quite sincerely.   
And he realized for once   
That he loved the Side dearly. 

"Not a problem," said Logan,  
As his hand gave a wave.   
"I'll see you around...  
Prince Roman the Brave."


	3. Moxiety

Late on one summer's night   
Virgil stared at the wall   
Which now held Patton's card  
With his sketch of them all 

As it had all week long,  
Virgil's heart sang and swelled   
Telling Pat so was scary  
But he still felt compelled 

'Come on, dude,' he thought.  
'It's really not hard.   
You just gotta tell him   
Thanks for the card.'

At long last, reluctantly,  
Virge left his room  
Where he ran into Pat  
In his onesie costume 

"Oh, hey there, kiddo!"  
Patton cheerfully greeted.   
"You're up late. Is your room  
Still not properly heated?"

"Oh, no, my room's fine,"  
Virgil quickly explained.   
"I'm just getting some air."  
He sighed. Tough mask sustained. 

"Well, anyway," he continued,  
"What's up with you?  
Found any new projects   
For Thomas to do?"

'What a dumb thing to say,'  
Virge berated himself.  
'That's Roman's job, not Patton's,  
You elf!'

But Pat, ever pleasant,  
Nodded and said,  
"Yep, I've got a few good   
Ideas in my head!"

Without much to say,  
The two stood face to face  
Poor Virge now convinced   
He was just a disgrace

Said silence continued  
For minutes on end.   
But then Patton broke it:  
"Well, sleep tight, my friend!"

Virgil tried hard to mask  
His pain with a smile  
"You too, Patton. This chat  
Was...somewhat worthwhile!"

He sighed, well aware   
It was close as he'd get   
To showing the extent   
Of his gratitude and debt

Now back in his room,  
Virgil took out a pen  
Still determined, somehow   
To try this again

Maybe he just had to   
Make his own note  
At least writing gave him  
More room to emote

He thought back to all those   
Misleading Comp shorts  
And decided to write up   
His own one, of sorts

'You make me wanna die,'  
This card said on the front  
Then '...Of laughter' inside   
...Was that still too blunt?

Perhaps so, but the card  
Worked just fine for now   
He'd send it eventually,  
Someway and somehow

'I know, for Christmas  
I'll give it to him.  
Then surely his heart  
Would be full to the brim.'

Truth be told, it was painful   
To still be repressed   
But all he could do now  
Was just get some rest


	4. Royality

On Christmas Eve night,  
At an ungodly hour,  
The Creative Side's mood  
Was incredibly sour

Roman trudged down the hall  
And shuffled his feet  
Still red-faced and sullen  
From the past day's defeat 

When all of a sudden  
Old Patton walked by  
"Hey, Ro! You all right?  
You look ready to cry."

Roman looked up and shrugged.  
"I'm okay, I guess."  
He paused then, unsure of  
How much he'd confess. 

"Thanks for taking my side earlier,"  
He went on.  
At least you stand as proof that  
Not all my charm's gone."

With a cock of his head,  
Patton said, "Oh my, no!  
You've always helped Thomas  
To put on a show.

And you're clever and bright,  
Creative and then some.  
So I'd say you've got charm.  
Where's this coming from?"

"What I mean," Roman said,  
Trying hard not to shout,  
"Is, I'm only as good as  
The work I put out. 

My job's to help Thomas  
Make good things for his vids  
Not write stupid songs  
And dress us up like kids."

"But your sweaters were great!  
And so was the song.  
Virgil's unpleasant comments  
Don't mean that you're wrong."

"Oh, really? You think that  
My song was so great?"  
Roman could feel himself  
Brimming with hate.

"If all that's the case,  
Then why'd you sink down  
To changing my lyrics  
Like some sort of clown?

I'm glad you spoke up  
When critiques got too cruel  
But the fact still remains  
You all think I'm a fool."

Patton stood there a moment,  
Lost in deep thought  
He had no idea  
Roman'd felt so distraught. 

"I'm so sorry for all this,"  
He finally began  
"I want to help fix it  
However I can. 

I can see how my jokes  
Left your song a disgrace  
I'd have known how you felt  
If I'd just seen your face 

I got caught in the fun  
Though that's not an excuse  
For the fact that my actions  
Were oh-so-obtuse."

Roman stared at his friend  
Now a tad less distressed  
"You're forgiven," he muttered,  
"But as for the rest?

It's quite clear," he said  
His voice starting to choke,  
"That to half of this team,  
I'm merely a joke. 

And with that, he walked off  
Leaving Patton in shock  
That for once things weren't fixed by  
A heart-to-heart talk


	5. Prinxiety

One typical evening,  
Virge sat in his room   
His headspace, as usual,  
Clouded with gloom

He was still pretty new   
So at least through his lens  
The other three guys  
Weren't exactly his friends

Perhaps it was possible, though,  
To get close  
With that weird Princey guy  
Who was so grandiose 

They did seem to like   
The same films, after all   
So Virgil got up   
And walked into the hall 

He approached Roman's door  
And knocked, feeling quite bold   
But when Roman answered,  
His blood just ran cold

"And just what do you want?"  
Roman said with a sneer.   
"Can't you see that I'm clearly  
Quite busy in here?"

"Oh, sorry, my bad!"  
Virgil said, backing up  
His nervousness making him  
Start cracking up

"Uh, yeah," Roman said,  
As he stared at this fellow   
Who now laughed so hard   
He was shaking like Jello

"Well, if that's all you've got,  
Then I guess I'll go now."  
He pulled the door closed  
But Virge propped it somehow 

"Wait! If you're free later,"  
He said, giggles suppressed  
"Maybe we could hang out...  
Do you like Dead Man's Chest?"

Roman just rolled his eyes.   
"I'd say chances are narrow  
That I'd watch any movie   
On Mister Jack Sparrow."

"Oh...well, what about Frozen?"  
Poor old Virge tried again.   
"I know for a fact  
Just how much you love Sven."

"But why would I watch it   
With you?" Roman whined.   
"All you would do is  
Make jokes from behind."

"Not if you're not okay with that,"  
Virgil insisted.   
"I just want to hang out for once,"  
He persisted. 

"Alright, I give up.   
What's your end game?" Ro asked.   
"Why doth your dark shroud  
Of gloom seem unmasked?"

"Look, I'm here for a while,"  
Virge said with a shrug.   
"You may as well treat me   
Like more than a slug. 

Can't we just get along   
For Thomas' sake?  
I promise your choice to  
Won't be a mistake."

"We'll never agree,"  
Roman said, voice still cool  
"We've done nothing but fight   
Since our boy was in school.

I just want him to soar   
While you cling to the ground  
So no, I won't say that  
I want you around."

He then slammed the door shut  
And poor Virgil stood, stunned   
Well, the message was clear:  
He was certainly shunned


	6. Logicality

Late one night, Logan sighed  
As he gazed at his wall  
Which looked so sad and boring   
With nothing at all 

He missed Patton's room  
With its marks of years passed  
Could he maybe take one for himself   
If he'd asked?

No, there was no way   
He'd admit he felt sad   
He'd have to be subtle   
Should he want it so bad 

So he snuck down the hall   
And saw Pat's room open wide  
But when he peered in  
There was no one inside 

'He must just be out  
For a walk,' Logan thought   
'I'll have to be quick  
So as not to get caught.'

So in Logan went,  
And he glanced to and fro  
Trying to find  
The right thing to borrow

His grad cap was bulky...  
Could he just grab the tassel?  
The debate trophies, too,  
Were kind of a hassle. 

At long last he settled   
On his old music box  
The one that was fragile   
With three different locks

He took off to leave  
With the box in his hand   
But then he took notice   
Of Patton's nightstand

It had a framed picture   
Of Thomas' ex  
And the sight of it made  
Logan feel quite perplexed 

He set down the box   
And knelt under the bed  
Well, maybe he'd just   
Grab his own pic instead 

He pulled out the album   
Of Thomas and Co.   
And chose one that was from  
His very first show

Now content, he got up   
And then much to his shame   
He saw Patton leaning   
Against the door frame 

"Hey there, bud," Patton said,  
Looking sly, though still gentle   
Logan jumped and stood up   
Now much less sentimental 

He bowed down his head   
And ran out through the door   
Feeling far more embarrassed  
Than ever before 

Now, Patton, meanwhile,  
Had a pretty good sense  
Of just why his friend Logan   
Was acting so tense

Patton knocked on Lo's door  
Logan answered, quite shy  
Before Pat could speak  
Logan started to cry

Patton offered a hug  
To which Logan agreed  
So they stood there and quenched   
Their emotional need

No words were exchanged  
But then, none had to be   
Logan still understood:  
His emotions were free 

Or, in other words   
They were all feeling sad  
But there's no need for shame   
When you're with dear old Dad.


	7. Logicality 2

Patton wandered the halls  
One day, craving attention  
From one Logan Sanders  
(And his mind, by extension)

So he barged in his room  
And he said, "Logan, hey!  
What interesting things  
Are you up to today?"

Logan put down his book  
And looked up at his friend  
With a grimace, he knew  
How this convo would end

First he'd say he was busy  
Then Patton would pout  
And before you could blink  
He'd be on his way out

And then Lo would apologize  
Later that day  
Promising Pat  
He'd make more time to play

That was how it went down  
Every time Patton entered  
But was Lo's frustration  
Really all that self-centered?

He just wanted some space  
Was that really so bad?  
He was always the bad guy  
And that made him mad

So on this afternoon   
Logan finally said:  
"Man, it's hard to believe  
All these books go unread."

Then he instantly cringed  
At his gross lack of tact  
Although, to be fair   
It had quite the impact

Because far quicker than he had  
Done in the past  
Patton dashed out  
Leaving Lo free at last

He'd done the right thing  
How could that be disputed?  
At last this huge pain  
Had been finally booted

But trying to read  
Simply wasn't the same  
Without Patton around,  
Logan realized with shame

So he scanned through his books  
Till he found a selection  
Of ones that might interest  
That ball of affection 

With these new books in hand  
Logan knocked on Pat's door  
But he soon faced a sight  
He was not prepared for

For when Pat let him in  
And suggested he sit  
His face made it clear  
He'd been crying a bit

"Look, I'm sorry," Pat said  
Nearly right off the bat  
"I promise next time   
I won't be such a brat. 

If you want time alone,  
Then I get it," he said.  
"You have every right  
To some space in your head."

"That may be," Logan said  
In a voice calm and caring  
"But I've realized that some things  
Are best meant for sharing.

And I don't just mean time   
I mean interests as well  
If you want to hang out  
Why not read for a spell?"

Logan held up the books;  
Patton perked up and beamed  
So they left, arm in arm  
With their friendship redeemed


	8. Logince 2

The weather outside   
Was the picture of gloom  
But Roman was happy  
Upstairs in his room 

He sat on the floor   
With his paintbrush in hand  
Ensuring each stroke went   
Exactly as planned

From the shading of Logan's  
Grey deerstalker hat  
To his black overcoat  
That looked full, not just flat

But wait, did the scarf have   
Three colors or four?  
Did the lighting demand   
He use less paint, or more?

Though he had lots of pictures  
Of Logan around   
Not one had his costume,   
Ro realized, and frowned 

Without a good reference   
Poor Roman was stuck  
Now he was sure that   
His project would suck

But he couldn't stop now   
When he'd done all that work  
He'd just take one more stab  
...Then he pictured Lo's smirk

In his head, he knew just   
How it all would go down   
If he gave this to Lo,  
He'd be laughed out of town

While Logan was smart,  
He was kind of a jerk  
And Ro knew he would find something  
Wrong with his work

The lighting, the colors,  
The texture--no matter  
No aspect was safe  
And it made his heart shatter

Oh, who was he kidding  
With this, anyway?  
May as well just save face,  
Give up--call it a day 

Although he thought no art  
Belonged in the trash  
He saw no other way   
To avoid a backlash 

So he walked in the hall   
Towards the Mind Palace dump  
But then Logan's voice from behind   
Made him jump

"Oh, good evening, Roman,"  
The Side greeted him  
"Whatcha got there?" he asked  
Roman's face just turned grim

He had no other choice  
But to tell Lo the truth  
So he gave the whole story  
To the smart, budding sleuth

Logan took all this in  
As he stood deep in thought  
Then at long last he spoke  
Though his voice sounded caught

"I truly am sorry  
You felt so afraid  
But I honestly would love to   
See what you've made.

I know that I've judged   
Your paintings before   
But a gift is a gift  
And that matters far more."

So with a deep breath   
Roman held up the gift   
And then he was wrapped   
In a hug oh-so-swift

It surprised both of them  
But neither one cared  
For now, Logan felt valued   
And Roman, less scared


	9. Analogical 2

Virgil sat hanging out in his  
Room one spring day  
When a knock on his door   
Chased that down time away

He opened his door   
To see Mr. Enlightened  
"Oh, hey there, what's up?"  
Virgil said as he brightened

"Well, last weekend, I read,"  
Began Logan, now shy,  
"That tonight, parts of Mars  
Should light up the night sky.

And it seems Pat and Ro  
Have a movie night planned  
But would you like to join me  
And see this firsthand?"

Virgil froze at the question,  
As all time stood still  
Should he just tell the truth?  
Let his pride take the kill?

No way, he could never   
Confess to his fears   
So he put on the bored face   
He'd practiced for years

"While I sure do appreciate   
Being invited   
I can't say that space   
Makes me all that excited.

But I'll go if you think   
You can make it seem cool."  
Virge went on. Then he winced.   
That came out way too cruel.

But Logan just put on  
A smile and said,  
"Make it cool? Well, I've got  
Some ideas in my head."

Virgil nodded at that and  
Waved Logan away.   
The door closed, and then Virge  
Felt the room start to sway

No, he couldn't just panic!  
He tightened his grip   
He would not lose his cool  
On this stargazing trip

Surely not when he had to  
Make up for his blunder   
He'd just have to pretend  
That his heart didn't thunder

At last it was evening,  
And just like they'd planned   
Virgil met Lo outside   
His fist balled in his hand

They laid on the grass  
And then Lo began talking   
'Bout his favorite space nerds  
From Sir Newton to Hawking

Virgil tried really hard   
To give Lo his attention   
But he couldn't break free   
From his tense apprehension

At long last poor Virge gave   
The smallest of cries  
Lo stopped talking, sat up...  
And then widened his eyes

He helped his friend up   
As they rushed back inside   
And then Lo sat Virge down,  
Hugging him as he cried

"Why didn't you say something?"  
The clever Side pleaded.   
"I'd have helped you calm down  
If I'd known that was needed.

I'm glad you agreed to  
Hang out for the night  
But next time, speak up if  
This happens, alright?"

Virgil nodded and hugged him,  
Still shaky and ashen,  
But also quite grateful   
For Logan's compassion


End file.
